From: Date: Tue, 9 Jun 1998 12:21:55 EDT Subject: Bound and Determined M/Sk Slash NC-17 1 PM Friday, Georgetown Medical Center waiting room "Sir, look at this list of injuries." Scully handed the medical file over to her boss. She noted the strained features as he pushed up his glasses before he focused on the words. "Are you okay, sir?" "I'm fine, Agent Scully. Just tired. What am I looking at here?" Turning her attention back to the records, she pointed at the long notations. "Anything seem familiar?" He read down for a few moments and then glanced back up, focusing in on dark blue eyes. "These are almost identical marks to what Mulder had, same bruising, bite, and cuts." "Not to mention the rape, sir." "So, what are you saying, Scully, that this Turner is the person who really attacked Mulder?" "I don't know. It just seems too strange that both Krycek and Mulder would have almost identical injuries. It could be the result of both brothers having the same psychosexual aberrations, but that doesn't happen often." Skinner shut the file and then started pacing again. "Even with that, what does it tell us? Nothing. We still don't know where Mulder is and they won't let us see Krycek. I've got every available agent on this man hunt and nothing's turned up." "I know, sir. You're doing everything you can." "But it's not enough. It's never enough." The tension in his face twitched in the spasm of a jaw, his eyes squinted and angry. "Sir, I'll ask the doctor again when we can see him." "No need, Agent Scully." Dr. Martin came up behind them and added, "Assistant Director Skinner, Mr. Krycek is refusing to take any pain medication until he speaks to you. He says it's urgent." "Let's go then." Scully started to move, but the doctor held up a hand. "No, I'm sorry. He said he'd only speak to Mr. Skinner alone." Gritting her teeth, she shook her head. "I don't like this, sir. I have a right to be there." "Don't worry, Agent Scully. As soon as I know anything, I'll be right out." As they walked down the hall together, Dr. Martin turned to Skinner. "I should tell you that Mr. Krycek's in serious condition. He's in a lot of pain, but he apparently has a high threshold for it. Even so, don't stay any longer than you have to." "You can count on that, doctor, I assure you." Arriving at the door, Skinner entered to find a bandaged Krycek propped up in the bed. The bruising around the neck made him cringe, an image of Mulder's injured throat playing back in his mind. "Krycek." "Walter." The name came out raspy and harsh. "Don't call me that." "Mulder calls you that." Despite the obvious pain, Krycek loved his mind games. "I don't think I have to point out to you that you're not Mulder. So, where is he?" Krycek hissed as he grabbed his side, but after a few moments settled back down. "I don't know for sure. Turner has him." "Why? What's going on? Why didn't he kill him like you said or for that matter why didn't he kill you? None of this makes any sense." The words fought hard to get past the clenched teeth. Krycek shook his head. "Man, you really hate me." "Why shouldn't I hate you after all you've done? But, that's not the issue, Krycek. Answer the fucking question." "I was wrong about Derik. We all had it wrong. Derik doesn't want Mulder dead. He just wants Mulder." "What the hell are you talking about?" Skinner stepped closer to the bed, his arms braced against the rail." "Look, he's got this idea that if Aaron loved Mulder that he should love him, too. Aaron could never have anything without sharing." His face twisted with anger, Skinner practically ground the words into dust before they could be heard. "Love? The bastard raped him." "I know, but you have to understand that's what the Turners do. They're both pretty twisted." His own version of agony tramped across his eyes as he added, "And I know that better than even Mulder does." "Shit." Walter turned away, his hand to his mouth fighting his own battle with a rebellious stomach. "Listen, you've got to find him. Mulder's sick." "I know that. He's still recovering." "You don't understand, Skinner. He's really sick. He had a high fever when Turner got there around 3 this morning. He said something about his kidneys being damaged or something. Also, he broke his wrist." "Turner broke his wrist? Why?" Krycek shook his head, but he raised his hand to rub his scrunched forehead. "No, Mulder broke it when he went nuts trying to pull his fucking hand out of the cuffs. Nobody told me he was that bad off or I'd never have used them." Skinner closed his eyes and took a deep breath, control blurring the edges of his rage. "You cuffed him?" "I didn't know he'd react like that. I swear I wanted to protect him." Suddenly focusing on the slight hitch in the words, Skinner glared and locked in on Krycek's face. "Why protect him? Why are you even in this? What is Mulder to you?" Before he could look away, Walter saw it, the slight softening of the eyes, the too bright glance before the blinking. Shit. "You're in love with him." It wasn't a question. "You're as crazy as Mulder if you think that." "You're a fucking liar, Krycek. But it doesn't matter. I hate to admit it, but I still need your help. Tell me where he took him." Krycek didn't answer right away and Skinner noted the slowing of the monitor beeps, green eyes closing. He nudged Krycek and repeated the question. Groggily, the younger man mumbled, "I don't know for sure. Could be a couple of places." "You've got to help me here, Krycek. At least give me a place to start." Each faint word formed a whisper. "There are at least five places where he might have gone." While he took down the instructions, Walter tried to calm the gibbering idiot screaming at the back of his mind. He didn't need anyone telling him what a wild hope it was to find the man he loved. It didn't matter. He'd do anything except stop until he found him. **************** Location and time unknown So much rain made the world soggy, a dreary landscape that painted the earth the true meaning of grey. Mulder lay on his side watching the wet spots run down the window, glinting trickles webbing the glass. Time moved in different rhythms through the day, minutes merged with hours, ran into night. He had no idea how long he'd been in the room, and he didn't care. Pain ebbed like spasms in every muscle, but he ignored it. Nothing touched him. Reality and dreams echoed the same. Nothing touched him. //Walter never came.// "Stephen says you haven't eaten, Fox. Why not?" The voice came from a distance. He listened to the rattling of the rain. "You have to eat. You're just being stubborn." Pine trees, braced with a sheen of ice and wet glitter, sparkled in the far light. At the edge of green shadow dark wings flapped and a black form settled in a branch. Seeing the tree bend with the slightest spring, Mulder imagined himself the bird. A rough hand pushed him on his back. "I want you to stop this shit, Fox. You're not going to play at being crazy, because, baby, I can do fucking nuts better than you can." A shake brought his vision back into the room. The heavy weight of presence filled him as he looked into the face of Derik Turner. "Ah, you're back. See, I knew you could do it." The hand went behind his shoulders and pulled him forward. "I want you to sit up." "Why?" The dry word scraped the back of his throat like a brittle nail across brick. Putting the pillows behind him, Turner then put his hands under each of Mulder's arms and scooted him into a prone position. "Because, my dear Fox, you're not going to lie here and just die. You're going to drink and eat and get better." "But why bother? I don't understand." //I'm fucking tired of being here. I don't even know where here is. God, what a mess.// "I told you before. I want to know what my brother and Alex see in you." "I don't know what you're talking about. Your brother raped me and Krycek killed my father. Somehow none of that translates to anything good." His throat ached from the strain of words, but he forced himself to ask. "Why don't you just kill me and be done with it?" //Just let it be over.// Turner brought the tray closer to the bed and handed Mulder a glass of apple juice. "I'm not going to kill you, Fox. I've got other plans. Now, drink that so I don't have to run another IV to keep you hydrated. The doctor will be back this afternoon to check on you." Mulder sipped at the cool drink, his forehead wrinkled with the effort of deciphering the strangeness of his situation. After half a glass, he put it back on the tray and asked, "So, if you're not going to kill me, what exactly are you going to do? "I told you before, Fox. I'm going to take up where my brother left off." Calmly, with a voice more even than he felt, Mulder whispered, "Your brother didn't leave much. Seems like a wasted effort to me." Intrigued by the unexpected reaction, Turner stepped closer to the bed. "You're an interesting person, Fox. I've read your file and I've watched you for two weeks before I brought you here. You're unpredictable. I like that." "Don't you have a life? What makes me so fucking fascinating that your asshole brother devotes himself to following me around for a life time and now you're doing the same thing? What the hell's wrong with you?" //I hate you, motherfucker. Do it. Get it over with it.// "If you're trying to provoke me, forget it. It won't work. You're frustrated because you hate being dependent, but just wait. When you're feeling better, I'll explain more. Right now I want you to eat and then rest. By evening, you should be able to get up for awhile. I'll bet you'd like that, to get out of this room, walk around just for a few minutes?" The oddly gentle cadence of the voice played on Mulder's nerves. He'd worked with psychopaths long enough to recognize the kindly benefactor approach. He decided to play along. Maybe if he lasted long enough, he could drive Turner to distraction, keep him off balance until he could find a way to either be rescued or escape or finally end it. A movement by the edge of the bed refocused his attention. "Fox, you want the soup or the biscuit first?" "Biscuit. Hand me the knife and butter and I'll fix it myself." Turner smiled. "I'm not stupid, Fox." He reached over and stroked the side of Mulder's slightly whiskered cheek, the flesh frozen beneath his touch. "Don't fuck with me, or pain will be your master and your servant." Pulling back, braced with a surge of defiance. "What? You want me to tremble, to whimper at your touch? Forget about it. You want to hurt me? Go ahead and fucking do it. You want to help me, then get out of here and let me eat in peace." Stepping back, Turner studied the man in the bed. "So, you're starting to get your balls back, eh? About time. So, my brother fucked your ass and now you're over it? Good, because by the time I'm done, you're going to be begging for more." "Begging? I fucking doubt it." He turned his head away, nonchalant and dismissive. Turner grabbed his shirt and pulled him forward, face to face. "You doubt it, you little prick? Want me to prove it right now? Well, do you?" Mulder stared back, his eyes shining with anticipation. He'd finally figured out what to do. Suddenly, Turner released him and pushed him back. The calculated voice sounded nothing like Mulder's. "Sure. Why not?" "Damn." Turner stared, his white square teeth catching the light. "What? Lost your interest already, or just can't get it up?" "You fucking want me to hurt you, to kill your ass so you don't have to keep trying to do it yourself." Settling back, Mulder set his jaw with a newfound determination. "Well, at least you're not dumb on top of being crazy." A low chuckle rumbled in the larger man's chest. "Oh, Fox, this is going to be fun." ************* Tuesday 6 P.M. Georgetown Medical Center "What the hell do you mean he's not here? Where the fuck is he?" AD Skinner leaned into his agent's terrified face. Lips trembling, the young man managed little better than a squeak. "I don't know, sir." "I can't fucking believe this." Skinner pulled back to regain control of the rush of anger revving up his heart to dangerous speeds. After several deep breaths to calm the violence threatening to break free, he finally evened out his voice. Years as a veteran came in handy when dealing with incompetence and assholes, even if it did absolutely nothing to help lower his blood pressure. "Okay, tell me from the top. Exactly what happened here? Why isn't Alex Krycek where he should be?" Still flustered, Special Agent Dan Phillips shifted uneasily, working too hard to sound official and failing miserably. "I got a phone call. I was gone less than a minute. I swear. I called an alert right away, sir." "And no one found Krycek? Fucking fantastic. So, who called?" "There was no one on the line, sir. I'm sorry." "Oldest trick in the book and you fell for it. Do you have any idea what you've done?" The words seethed out of his mouth with a level of anger and contempt he'd rarely achieved. A small hand touched his sleeve. "Sir, Special Agent Phillips isn't the only one at fault here. Maybe we should talk about this a little later?" Before he could snap a reply, Scully turned to the young target of Skinner's misdirected rage. "Phillips, maybe this would be a good time to start typing up that report for the Assistant Director." "Yes, M'am. You're probably right." Skinner lowered the intensity of his glare slightly and grunted. "You're dismissed, Agent Phillips, but I want that report first thing in the morning. I also want a follow up on the APB out on Krycek. I want the man found. Do I make myself clear?" "Yes, sir." Phillips left the AD and Scully standing in the hallway outside Krycek's empty room. Walter ignored the fact that the woman beside him still rested a hand on his arm. The knot keeping his heart tied too tightly made his chest scream to breathe. Finally he hissed. "I'm all right." "Sure you are, sir. Why don't we sit down for a minute? Your color's a little off." "Don't start with me, Agent Scully." "I'm a doctor, too, if you'll remember, sir. Besides, it's not going to do Mulder any good if you die of a heart attack before you find him." Sinking into a nearby chair, Walter leaned forward, his energy practically non- existent. "I'm sorry, Scully. I'm just tired." "I know that." She settled in the seat beside him. "Sir, I know you're doing everything you can, but you're only one man. You have to sleep some time." "I have slept, believe it or not. It's just that I keep thinking about what could be happening. We went to every one of the places Krycek told us about and there's nothing. No sign of him ever being there. We've hit a dead end, Scully. I wanted to talk to Krycek again. See if maybe th= ere was another place he didn't give me." Scully nodded. "I'm sure there is. Krycek never puts the whole deck on the table. Mulder found that out the hard way often enough." Walter turned his gaze on the bundle of strength beside him. Sure, she looked tired, but somehow she held up. She never gave an inch into the creeping despair that fouled and muddied his own thoughts. God, he'd give his own soul if he could find Mulder and hold him, make him safe just once. He forced himself to refocus, working harder to think like an Assistant Director of the FBI and not some victim's desperate and ineffectual lover. "Scully, where do you think Krycek would go?" "I don't know, but he can't go far. He's still in pretty bad shape. To be honest, I'm surprised he even pulled something like this so soon." "I'm not. I'm surprised he waited this long. He knows every body with a gun and a working memory wants him dead. Obviously if we can't keep him in a hospital, we can't protect him either. He knew that. I should've warned Phillips about him." "Sir, Phillips is a trained agent. He should've already known." Skinner smiled for the first time in days at the disrespectful tone she used when she talked about the young man who'd let Krycek get away. "So, why'd you come to his rescue?" "You mean why didn't I let you chew his ass a little harder, sir?" Skinner laughed out loud. "What?" She turned to stare at the AD as though he'd lost his mind. After all the man did fall in love with her partner. He definitely qualified for edge material. "I don't think I've ever really seen this side of you before. No wonder Mulder smiles when he talks about you." A flash of sadness traced across her eyes as he watched her. "He's still alive, Walter." Her voice hitched as she tested the name for the first time. When he didn't say anything, she added, "You can't give up." "I don't intend to, but it's getting harder to believe we'll find him." He never said the word alive, but it dangled there between them, twitching for attention. Scully ignored it. "I know." She touched her hand to his. "But we just have to keep trying. The first thing to do is get you something to eat and then we'll check on the progress of finding Ratboy." "Ratboy?" "Yeah, it's Mulder's pet name for him." "Sounds like Mulder. I don't even want to think about what he calls me." She smiled before she stood up. "Oh, I don't know. Mulder's pretty clever with names. You'll have to ask him. It's really kind of cute." "Oh, shit, Scully, don't tease a man when he's down." "I'm not teasing. Besides, I'm one woman who can keep a secret." Skinner snorted. "Thank god for that." "Damn straight." "Not funny, Scully." Skinner managed to glare with a grin before he followed her down to the cafeteria. If he'd learned anything over the last few years, he learned that Scully usually got her way. So, he'd eat and then he'd find Ratboy. Then he'd find Mulder. He had to believe that, no matter what the jabbering maniac at the back of his mind tried to say. *************** Wednesday Midnight, Mulder's Apartment The key slid into the lock with a clean click and the door opened onto a darkness. The faint illumination of the fish tank wavered from the far wall like a taunting apparition. Walter slammed the door shut behind him and walked over to pick up the box of fish food sitting above the aquarium. Sprinkling the flakes between his two fingers, he flashed back on the memory of watching Mulder stand there doing the same thing every morning he'd been with him. Suddenly despite his exhaustion, dead fish were not an option. The damn things simply had to stay alive. "Turn around slowly and raise your hands where I can see them." The voice came from behind him. He swiveled and focused in on the man he'd been searching for all night. In the low light the empty left sleeve gave Krycek a lop-sided appearance. Regardless, the gun had dead aim at his heart. "What are you doing here?" "I figured this is the one place people wouldn't look. I also figured you be coming here eventually." "We searched all the places you gave us, but he wasn't there. Where else could he be?" "Sit down over there. I have to think." He motioned for the couch and Walter did as commanded, keeping a close eye on the slow, deliberate movements of his captor. "You don't look so good, Krycek. Maybe you should've stayed put." "And maybe you should just shut up and listen. If you haven't found him in any of those places, there's only one other place he could be." A sudden groan took them both by surprise as Krycek doubled over. Springing forward, Walter snatched up the gun and then turned it on his attacker. He easily pushed him into a chair and had no problem keeping him there. Pain worked in his favor. "Damn." A slow shudder passed through Krycek's body before he finally settled back, sweat glistening against pale skin. "You should be in the hospital." He hated the poor bastard, but he had no desire to see him suffer. "Yeah, maybe, but that's not going to do Mulder any good. Look, I'm not in very good shape here. I think we both know that. Even so, you need me free and willing to help." "You were about to tell me where to find Mulder." "There's only one other place he'd take him if he's still in the country." "Where is it, Krycek.? Stop stalling." Shaking his head, Krycek reached up and rubbed his temple. "You've got to understand. The place is a fortress. You're not going to be able to take a regular rescue team in there without getting him and a lot of other people killed." Sitting down across from the younger man, Walter still held the gun level at his gut. "So, what are you suggesting?" "I made a few calls. I know Derik's there right now. It's a place in the middle of Georgia. Very isolated, very secure. He's got his own security, and I'm here to tell you, it's a bitch. No way can you get in there on your own. I'll have to take you there." "Krycek, you're crazy. You can't even stand. How are you going to break into a place like that? Hell, how am I supposed to?" "That's the thing. Sure, it's a tough place, but I've been there. I know the place. Besides, I know this guy on the inside who has a crush." "Shit, Krycek. Don't tell me about your love life." Green eyes turned deadly, focused heat aimed directly at an enemy. "Don't fuck with me, Skinner. If it weren't for Mulder, I could give a fuck if you survive. The thing is he needs you right now. He may not know it, but he does." Chilled by the stare of a stone cold killer, Walter still had to ask, "Why are you doing this, Krycek?" He locked angry eyes with Skinner while he spoke. "You think you know, but you don't. My feelings for Mulder are my own. They've got nothing to= do with you or anyone else. It doesn't fucking matter why I'm doing this. Just take advantage of it and save his ass before Derik kills him." A mental fist jabbed at Walter's stomach. "I thought you said Turner didn't want to kill him." In a tone almost too low and hushed to measure, Krycek whispered, "There's more than one kind of dead." The wash of cold truth froze muscle to bone, his thoughts against frigid space. "When do we leave?" ************** 4 PM Wednesday, Georgia Estate "Get up and put them on." The soldier pointed to the sweats at the end of the bed. Close-cropped, dark hair along with the well muscled torso shouted for the cover of mercenary of the month. //Lovely little Nazi.// "Why?" Mulder lay there staring, his arms IV free for the first time since he arrived. //Wonder if the bullet would sting all the way to the brain?// "Get the fuck up and get dressed or I'll do it for you. Then again, maybe that's what you want." A slight smirk curled the edges of too thin lips while dark blue eyes sparkled with challenge. "Thanks for the offer, but I'd hate you to start something too hard to finish." He took satisfaction as the finger tightened on the trigger. Taunting could be an art form if well-handled. "Stop being a prick and get dressed. Turner wants to see you." Carefully he shifted his legs to the side of the bed. The slight dizziness from changing positions forced him to grip the side rail for a moment, his eyes shut to ward off the nausea. More settled, he took off the gown and brought the dark grey fleece down over his head, the right arm band tight over the cast. Reaching for the pants, he looked around. "What? No underwear?" //Shit. Not good.// "You're not going to need it. Put the pants on. And the socks." "No shoes?" "You're not going outside. Now, stop asking questions and hurry up." Bracing himself to fight down the rising panic of standing bare-bottomed in front of a too familiar hungry stare, he stood up and pulled the elastic waist up quickly to cover his nakedness. Sitting back down, he took the new pair of socks and put them on. His right wrist ached from the effort and he brought it back up to his chest. Just the mere act of dressing draped him in fatigue. "Now, what?" "Stand up and let's go." Motioning for the door, Mulder did as directed and found himself in a hallway carpeted in a lush navy. The light tan walls with white woodwork trim led him to the stairs. From the top landing he gazed down on an unexpected opulence. The place looked like something out of one of those waiting room magazines--lots of expensive furniture, matching blue and white fabrics against terra cotta tile. Stained glass windows paraded light through an image of a snarling tiger standing behind a jungle tree, a terrified green-eyed boy fallen just within paw's reach. //Damn, it looks like Alex.// "Where the fuck is this place?" "Move it." The gruff voice ordered impatiently behind him. "Okay. But where am I going?" He never expected an answer, so the silence didn't surprise him. Mulder took in as many details as he could for future reference. A mental map might come in handy if he actually got a chance to survive and escape the place. "Stop and turn here." Going down a corridor off the main great room, he passed a double doorway that obviously led to a gym, the gleam of metal weights and machines flashing against bright light. Moving further along, he stopped at the closed door at the end of the hall. A guard opened it for him and he stepped into what appeared to be a study combined with a game room. Derik Turner leaned over a pool table lining up his next shot. "Come in, Fox. I'm glad to see you've got a little color back. Have a seat." Mulder continued to stand as Turner proceeded to sink the seven ball in the corner pocket. He turned and aimed an amused grin at the stubborn agent. "I said sit down, Fox. You don't mind very well, do you." "I don't want to sit down. I don't want to be here." //Asshole. Make me sit. Go ahead. Just try it.// Turner's smile twisted harder, his eyes narrowed to a steady focus. "I don't give a fuck what you want, Fox. You're going to have to learn that." "I tend to be a slow learner." //Slow to dead at this point.// "That's not what I've heard. Doesn't matter though. I always get what I= want eventually. Now, you can either do it easy or hard. Makes no difference. Seems to me though that you should really avoid making an issue over the small stuff like sitting down when I tell you to." "Why's that?" "Because you're going to be really worn out by the small stuff before we get to the really interesting details of the relationship I'm forging." //Yeah, right. Relationship. Not fucking likely.// Swallowing hard, trying not to bite off his tongue in disgust, Mulder kept his voice even. "Relationship? What relationship? What kind of twisted fuck are you?" The snort surprised him as Turner laughed and took up a glass of brandy and sipped the last of it, licking the edges clean of the amber liquid. "You are a test, that's for sure, Fox. No wonder Aaron liked you. You remind me a lot of Alex. I like that." The mention of Krycek's name pinched a memory. "You've talked about him before. What is he to you?" //Like I can't guess what a shit like you wants with someone like Krycek's Grade A ass.// "He didn't tell you?" Turner put the pool cue down and sat on the edge of the table while he poured himself another drink. "He said he knew you." Turner laughed again. "Oh, yeah, you could say that. Alex Krycek is one of the best fucks I've ever had. Bought him when he was just a kid so I could raise him to do it right, you know." "Bought him?" The clenching of his gut reduced his vision. Light-headed, Mulder finally sat down. //Son of a bitch. Damn.// "Yeah, even trade for a job I did. Great bargain, too. Anyway, I'm not sure where I went wrong exactly. He's such a wonderful little sociopath, but I guess that's why he betrayed me in the end. No sense of loyalty. No morals really." "Yeah, I guess that explains it." Working hard to keep the bile out of his throat, Mulder breathed more deeply. "Explains what?" Watching closely Turner's amused expression shifted. "Don't feel sorry for him, Fox. He did kill your father, you know. You wouldn't believe the bruises I gave the boy over that fuck up." The words stumbled, but made it free from tight lips. "Why a fuck up? My father's dead." //Son of a bitch killed my father. I have to keep reminding myself of that. Why is that?// "Yeah, but it wasn't sanctioned. Besides, you can't tell me it much mattered what happened to your old man. He wasn't exactly father of the year material." "No, but he was my father." //A son of a bitch, but good old dad nonetheless.// "So, even if the guy beat and raped you, it's blood that counts? I'll have to remember that." The heated air in the room steamed Mulder's lungs as he tried to ignore the spears stabbing at his chest. He needed to turn away from the pounding images of his father. Gulping harder, he turned the question back to Krycek. "Why does Alex hate you so much?" //Like I can't guess.// "He feels the same way about me as you do your father. Make no mistake, Alex and I are connected as close as blood. I know him better than anyone, but he still surprised me with this thing he has for you. Let me warn you about Alex. No matter how much he tries to fuck you, don't ever trust him." "Don't worry. I've never trusted him." //Never will unless I go fucking crazy. Shit. Could be in trouble here.// "But you have wanted to fuck him." Mulder refused to answer and looked away. //What a slut.// "I don't blame you, Fox. Alex has a great ass and nobody knows how to use that like Alex. The thing is, I fell for it a little myself. I'll admit it. I had a soft spot for the boy, but then for some reason he got this obsession going over you. Same thing happened with Aaron. I'm still trying to figure it out." "Don't bother. Obsessions are crazy. You, your brother, Alex, you're all sick fucks. What's to figure?" Rather than look offended, Turner laughed again. "Yeah, that we are. So, Fox, what's Walter Skinner's excuse? Is he a sick fuck, too?" Fired by a sudden surge of passion, Mulder stood up and stepped closer. "Don't. I don't ever want to hear you talk about him. He's got nothing to do with any of this." //Not Walter, you asshole. Ever.// Cold blue eyes narrowed their focus, icy without a single waver. "Sit down, Fox, and watch your tone." After a few seconds of not moving, Turner casually whipped up so quickly and cleanly, Mulder didn't have a chance to twitch much less struggle. The hard bulk of the body moved him with almost no effort back into the chair with a massive force. His head spun from the impact. "Fuck." "Not yet, but next time I tell you, Fox, do it. I don't want to hurt you. You're still not well yet. But don't press me on this. I will cause you a great deal of pain if you make me." "I don't give a fuck what you do to me. Just leave Skinner out of this." "Skinner's in it whether you like it or not, Fox." Turner came back around and settled in a chair across from Mulder's. "You don't know what's been going on since I brought you here, so let me fill you in. Your boss has been pissing people off like crazy trying to find you. He must have it pretty bad. He's called in about every marker he's got and given out a few. He'll be in debt up to his ass over this if he survives." //He didn't desert me. Thank god.// The internal chanting echoed over and over, pounding in his head. Biting his lip to help focus, he blinked several times to help form words in the right order. "So, what's your point? I work for him. Of course, he's going to try to find me." "Cut the shit, Mulder." He leaned forward, his eyes never leaving his focus on Mulder's face. "Tell me something. Is he a good lover?" "We're not lovers." //I can't.// "Really? Well, it's not for the lack of trying on his part, no doubt." "You don't know shit, Turner." Mulder ground his back molars, the grit of his hatred scraping down to the bone. "I know this. He'll be coming here with Alex and when he does, he's going to be mine." Jerking his head up, Mulder stared into the face of stark evil. "What the fuck are you talking about?" "You should thank me." "Thank you for what?" "You, my dear Fox, are about to figure out what you truly believe in." Mulder's thinking suddenly rolled over and played dead. ************** 6:30 PM Wednesday, Georgia estate Light dashed around, playing silly games, hiding in the dark. Groaning as he tried to open his eyes, Walter Skinner decided getting old just wasn't working out. "Damn." "About time you woke up." Alex Krycek sat on a bunk across from his, one leg up. Illness still colored his skin a too pale white with a dash of shadow. "What the hell happened?" A pounding throbbed at his left temple as the older man sat up. Swinging his legs off the side of the narrow bed, he surveyed his surroundings the best he could without his glasses. The square room held only the bed, a sink, and a toilet. No window broke the straight lines all around. Only one door offered an exit. Rubbing the side of his face, a faint image of violence and pain teased the edge of his memory. "I asked what happened, Krycek." "I know you did, but I figured it was just rhetorical. You saying you really can't remember?" "That's what I'm saying." Walter rested his face in both hands as he tried to rub away the terrible aftermath of being unconscious. "We got inside the perimeter, but got stopped just outside Derik's main building. I got the stun gun, while you got the low tech club. Effective though. Took you out pretty damn quick." "Shit." He started to stand, but thought better of the plan when a whirling sensation said hello to his stomach. "Man, try not to get sick. This is a closed space." "Not as closed as a coffin." "True. Jesus, you're as pissy as Mulder when you get pounded." Walter risked trying to open his eyes again and saw that Krycek sat calmly watching him from the other bed. The intense scrutiny not only made him nervous, but ticked him off royally. The boy was too damn cool and cocky to be real. "I'm going to define pissy if you don't tell me how the hell this happened. I thought you had this place scoped out. What happened to the guy with the crush?" "Well, apparently he's a bit more fickle than I expected. Either that or Derik got jealous and killed him. Could be either one. Poor Luther's nowhere to be found. Doesn't matter. We're dead now any way." "You're awfully fucking calm about the whole thing. Why shouldn't I believe you had this planned?" Suspicion and frustration fired the rage growing in his gut. "Sure, Skinner. That makes a hell of a lot of sense. In case you haven't noticed, you're not in this room alone. I hate to break it to you, old man, but Derik Turner knows how to handle a grudge. Believe me, if I'd planned this, I would've shot myself in the head to save myself the grief." The bitterness behind the words worked like venom, poisoning the air in the room, an open wound oozing hatred. "So, why hasn't he killed us both already?" Letting his head fall back against the wall, Krycek closed his eyes. "Derik likes drama. He's got a play ready and we've got starring roles." Raising up, he focused on his bruised companion. "Frankly, I pity you when Mulder shows up." "Why's that?" "Think about it. Derik and Aaron always like to bargain for what they want." A terrible cold crawled its way up through Walter's gut as the earlier fear awakened and coiled, fully alert. "What the fuck are you talking about?" "Aaron used Scully against Mulder. Derik used Mulder against me. Now prove you're an AD for a reason. Figure out who the player is in the next show." "Son of a bitch." "Good job, Walter. Named yourself in one." ************* 8PM Wednesday, Georgia estate The key in the lock signaled arrival. Walter thought seriously about trying to jump the entering guard, but the automatic in his hand vetoed the plan. "So, Alex, back again for a visit?" The young man stood by the bed pointing the gun at Krycek, but smiled with familiarity as he spoke. "Hey, Thomas. I thought you'd left a long time ago. Last I heard you were working out of Cairo." "Yeah, well, you're a little behind the times, old buddy. Stephen and I have already been there and back. Say all you want to about the boss, but he pays better than most." Krycek nodded and spoke in a friendly tone. "Yeah, well, depends on what services you're providing, Thomas. Guns and muscle get a good rate, but lay your ass out and it's a different story." "You should know better than most. Too bad about Luther." The grin faded, replaced by a forced thin smile. "What happened? Derik find out I was coming down here and have him killed?" "Eventually." Shifting uneasily, he avoided Krycek's eyes momentarily before he added, his voice almost sympathetic. "You know how Derik is. He isn't quick unless it suits him." "Yeah." Krycek leaned forward as painful spasms shook through his arm. "So, you here just to catch up on old times or what?" "No, the boss wants to see to it that you get cleaned up. Besides, he wants Big Daddy there to have a little visitor." Both Krycek and Skinner came alert. Walter spoke for the first time since the young man entered. "Is Mulder here?" "If Mulder's that tall drink of darkness he's been taking care of upstairs, yeah, he's here." Anxious, Krycek asked, "How is he? He still sick?" "He's better than he was. Still looks pretty out of it. I think Derik's giving him something, but I'm not sure. Seems wasted every time I've seen him. Though I have to say, even wasted, I can tell why Derik is working so damn hard to get him healthy, if you know what I mean. Fine bone structure." "Yeah, that must be it, Thomas. Bone structure my ass." Krycek threw a glance at Skinner before the next question. "So, why is Mulder coming in here to see this guy?" "Alex, if I knew what was really going on, do you think I'd be stupid enough to tell you? I mean, all I have to do is think about Luther and I'm seriously going to stay on Derik's good side. You, on the other hand, have really pissed him off. I think if I were you, I'd puff up those gorgeous lips of yours and get ready to kiss some serious Turner ass. Derik is not happy with you." "He say that?" "Didn't have to. Now, get up and let's go." He motioned with the gun as Krycek stood slowly. "And Alex, please don't make me shoot you. You've lost one arm already." Point taken, Krycek's eyes narrowed. He turned briefly to Skinner before leaving. "Remember what I said about the life in showbiz." "I'll remember." Skinner cringed as he watched the younger man limp out of the room. As much as he wanted to see Mulder, he dreaded the idea that whatever happened between them would no doubt be on tape, no doubt to be used against Mulder later. His gut ached like he'd been punched out by an army, but none of it compared to the torture that twisted the confusion in his head about what to do. At that moment all he desired in his life could be summed in the salvation of finding the man he loved and being allowed to bring him to safety. Fuck Derik Turner. He refused to fail at doing the one thing that mattered more than breathing. For a brief moment he bowed his head and called on all the X-Files he'd ever read dealing with the power of prayer. Never a man of strong religious conviction, he decided any sudden faith in a higher life force couldn't hurt. Then he prayed to whatever angel might be listening that Scully checked her email more often than Mulder ever did. God and hope never seemed so far away. ************* 8:30 Wednesday, Georgia estate "Go on, Mulder. Open the door. You've got 10 minutes. Make good use of it. Might be the last chance you get to see the guy before Derik either puts him out his misery or adds a little something to it." Ignoring the taunt, Mulder went through the entry to find Walter sitting on the low bed against the far wall, head down, eyes closed. "Hey, Walter. Did I come at a bad time?" Jerking up at the sound, Walter Skinner set eyes on the one man he counted as a blessing. "Thank God, you're alive." "Yeah, well, maybe not for long, but every minute counts around here." The door closed and clicked as the key turned behind him. "What the hell happened? What are you doing here in the middle of wherever here is?" "It's Georgia, and Krycek brought me." Moving closer, the older man stood only inches away. Putting a hand on Mulder's cheek, he touched a thumb to trembling lips. "I'm so really glad you're okay." "I can't believe you trusted, Krycek, Walter." Breathing deeper, Mulder leaned in close, slipping his arms around the man who anchored his dreams. "I thought you were smarter than that." His head rested on a broad shoulder as Walter returned the embrace. He whispered in Mulder's ear. "We're on camera, Mulder." "I don't give a fuck, Walter. We're a very photogenic couple." Smiling at the nonchalance, the older man relaxed into the hug. "I've missed you. How are you really?" "Better. Really." Pulling back, Mulder took Walter's hand and led him to the bed. Seated, he turned to face his fear. "I had it all figured out, Walter." "What?" "The whole thing. I wanted to die and knew exactly how it would happen." "Mulder." Alarmed, Walter pulled away, unable to take in the possibility of the man he loved falling into such an absolute despair and talking about it like any old field report. "No, wait, let me finish." Intertwining his fingers with Walter's, he spoke quietly, his words very deliberate. "I had it all planned. I would piss Turner off so much, he could do it for me. It was a safe place to be, Walter. No pressure to survive, you know." Cupping the back of his young man's head, Walter drew him closer. He lightly kissed his forehead before resting head to head. His warm breath tickled whiskered skin. "I know, Mulder." Pulling back, Mulder gazed intently into dark brown eyes searching for the truth. "Do you really, Walter?" "Yeah, I do, Mulder. It's hard to keep going when you feel so totally empty. I felt it after Nam. I got lucky. I found Sharon. She's what I needed at the time, someone who could know me and love me anyway." "But then you lost her." The sadness laced his words as he imagined the pain of such a failure. "But by then you were in my life. Hell, let's be honest, Mulder. You were there from the first time I met you. I think she knew that. It's what finally pushed her away. I feel a little guilty about that now. I can hide my feelings from most people, but not from those who care." Rubbing Walter's bearded jaw, Mulder smiled. "Yeah, well, you're not that easy to read, but thank god I finally figured it out. I've been running so fucking long, not just from you, but from myself. I never wanted to deal with any of it. Losing Samantha, my father, the X-Files all of it screwed up my life and did nothing to make it better. Then Turner happened. I wanted to die, Walter. I really did. It was like that one extra shove too near the cliff edge, you know? That one extra thing too much to push me over. You and Scully were the only ones keeping me alive." Kissing the palm so near his face, Walter shook his head. "You kept yourself alive. You underestimate your own strength, Mulder. Always have." "Maybe, but I was going to end it, Walter. Up until a few hours ago, I was more than willing to let Derik Turner do whatever he wanted as long as he killed me in the end. Actually I was kind of aiming to get him to off me sooner, but he didn't cooperate, lousy son of a bitch." "God, Mulder." Shaking his head, Walter brought the younger man closer, holding him, letting his head rest against his chest. Gently he stroked and petted, while he whispered. "I love you too much to think you'd want that." "I didn't want it, Walter. It just seemed like the only way to get through with all this shit. But then he told me Alex was bringing you here. I knew I couldn't let anything happen to you because of me." Pulling back suddenly, Walter asked seriously. "When did he tell you about Krycek?" "I'm not sure. Just a few hours ago. Tell me what happened. How did you get here. How could you trust Krycek after everything that's happened? And where the hell is Scully?" "I couldn't risk bringing her along." "You ditched Scully? Oh, man, Walter, you're in a hell of a lot of trouble here." He smiled at the image of his partner storming around when she found out that ditching ran in his family. "I know. She's going to kick my ass when she sees me." "Yeah, Scully can do that all right, tiny feet notwithstanding. His face turned more serious as he asked, "But why trust Krycek?" "I never said I trusted him, but I didn't have a choice about listening to him either. We looked everywhere. Finally, after Krycek escaped from the hospital, he told me about this place." "Hospital? What hospital?" Walter studied Mulder's confused features before he continued to speak evenly, but quietly. "Mulder, Turner raped Krycek before he kidnapped you last week. He did the same thing to him that his brother did to you." "What?" Mulder stood up, pacing in a quick panic. "No, that didn't happen. I was there. I didn't see anything like that." "Yes, but you were sick, Mulder. According to Krycek you didn't know what was happening. You had a fever." Reaching out, he touched the cast on Mulder's right arm. "And he said you broke your own wrist." Holding up the plaster-encased limb like some strange object, Mulder frowned and nodded. "Yeah, I did do that. Went a little nuts when I woke up and he'd cuffed me." "Woke up? What do you mean woke up? Did the son of a bitch knock you out? Is that why you were with him?" "Calm down, Walter. It wasn't like that." Mulder watched as the older man's anger flushed his features. "Then how was it?" "I'd just come from Dr. Harris after a slight mental breakdown." "About what?" "Doesn't matter right now, but at the time I just freaked, so I went out drinking." Holding up a hand to stop the interruption he saw coming, he continued. "I know, I know, Walter. Don't say it. It was stupid. Anyway, Krycek found me and got me out of there." "But why was he there in the first place?" A flare of jealousy laced the words. "He said he was there to warn me, but you never know about Alex." "Stop calling him Alex. I'd rather you call him Krycek or Ratboy." Laughing out loud for the first time in a month, Mulder sat back down and drew the larger man's face toward him. "Walter, are you jealous?" "Of course not. I just don't like you being so familiar with a prick like that. He can't be trusted. I don't care how pretty he is or how bad his life's been." "You think Alex is pretty?" "I don't want to talk about Krycek, Mulder." "Jealous. Damn." Mulder leaned back in amusement. "I never would've figured it, Walter." Stopping for a moment, he tilted his head, his mind clicking off revelations. "Ratboy? You've been talking to Scully. Did she mention what I call you?" "No. She said I'd have to ask you." Mulder leaned in, wrapped his long fingers around Walter's neck, and kissed his cheek. Affectionately, he licked his ear before he whispered, "When we get out of here, I'll tell you. Right now, we need to figure out how we're going to do that. Any ideas to share now that I no longer want to have Turner send my ass to hell?" He backed away abruptly, still worried about the younger man's casual reference to his own calculated demise. "God, Mulder, you scare me when you talk like that." "Talk like what? I just said I want to keep on living for a change. What's wrong with that?" Shaking his head, Walter stood and put his hands on his hips. "We'll talk about what's wrong with you later, Mulder. Right now we need to figure out what to do. I saw the perimeter of the place, but got taken out before reaching the main building. I don't know the set up." "Where are we exactly?" "About forty-five minutes south of Atlanta. Used to be a swamp area. Now, it's this fortress. There are at least ten armed guards, outside. And there's something else." "What?" "I think they all know Krycek." "Yeah? That's not really surprising. Krycek and Turner have a hell of a history." "Hell being the operative word, Mulder. "Yeah, it's pretty grim, but Krycek should know this place like he owns it. Given the right circumstances, he might even be able to take over the place." "Maybe. But right now, he has his own problems. Turner sent for him about half an hour ago. He still wasn't recovered from the attack last week. I don't think we should count on much help from Krycek from here on out." Mulder shook his head, his voice steady. "Don't bet on it, Walter. Krycek's got a lot of room up his sleeve for dirty tricks. I wouldn't count him out just yet." ************ >From another room Krycek sat back, scooting away from the monitor as he adjusted his prosthetic arm in its rightful position. "Smart boy, Mulder." Graceful fingers teased the nape of his neck playing with his dark, silky hair. "I don't get it, Alex. What's so special about this guy? Why go to all this trouble?" Thomas leaned over and kissed the side of his exposed throat. "None of your fucking business." Moaning, he urged Thomas closer. "Stick to what you're good at. God, that feels great." Leaning his head back further, Alex wallowed in the sensation of tongue and lips awakening his skin. His breathed more raggedly as he lost himself to pleasure for a few heart beats. Watching Mulder and Skinner together heated his passion. Seeing Mulder touch another man with so much obvious affection burned at his soul. He wanted to be that man so badly that he gladly used another's mouth in a make believe passion. Pretending came easy with so much practice. "Alex?" "Yeah?" "Are you serious about taking out Derik?" Hunger nibbled at his ear while a hand busied itself moving down his chest to reach and massage the growing bulge through the rough seam of his jeans. A vise clamped down on the Thomas's arm as Alex opened his eyes and pulled the young soldier around the chair to come forward. Staring directly into hazel eyes, he smiled while he pushed him to kneel between his thighs. "It's about time somebody did, don't you think?" "Oh, yeah, man, definitely." "Not long from now, we'll all be free, lover. I promise." Nodding, anticipation and lust playing across his dark features, Thomas quickly unzipped and released the jutting cock to twitch a few inches from his mouth. Alex shook as he watched those wonderful lips slide forward, engulfing him in a steamy heat. Closing his eyes, he imagined Mulder there sucking and lapping, stroking and fondling his balls with practiced fingers. Heart racing, breathing ragged, he bucked up over and over, fucking Mulder's face, releasing his pain into the waiting throat of a surrogate, a substitute for the man he needed to save to save himself. ************** 9 PM Wednesday, Georgia Estate "Time's up, Mulder. The boss wants to see you." The gun pointed at Mulder's midsection, as the young Nazi guard motioned him to the door. "And if I refuse to go?" The young man stayed seated on the bed next to Walter Skinner. "Then your old man's going to need some new blood. Turner told me I could shoot him any place where it wouldn't kill him right away. You choose, Mulder. Makes no difference to me." He grinned as he watched the reluctant rise of his prisoner. "Good choice." "Walter, I'm sorry." Holding his hand a little longer, Walter shook his head. "It's not your fault, Mulder. You know what he's up to. Don't bargain." "Yeah, right. I'm going to let him rape you to save myself? I see that happening about as much as I see you and Alex going together. Not fucking likely Walter." Smiling grimly, the older man shook his head. "I told you not to call him that. You never listen." "Sure I do, Walter. I just don't mind worth a damn." "Listen, I don't have time for this shit, Mulder. Get your ass over here before I shoot your lover between his legs." "Asshole." Stepping closer, his gun still pointed at Walter, young Nazi stared directly at Mulder while he spoke. The words hissed with spit, each one sharp and pointed. "If Derik didn't want your ass, you'd be dead now, motherfucker. Doesn't mean, I can't hurt this one as much as I want. Go ahead and give me something fun to do." Mulder bit his tongue and held his fists down to his sides, the anger seething like exploding bullets through his guts. "Don't hurt him." "That's up to the boss and to you. Now, move it out of here. No more sweet talk." Glancing one more time at the bed, Mulder smiled briefly. "I'll be back, Walter. I swear." "Stranger things have happened, Mulder." "I hear that." ***************** 9PM Wednesday, another part of the estate "Alex. Nice to see you again. Feeling rested I hope?" Derik Turner shot the cue ball to rebound and hit the six to the corner. "Nice shot." Krycek sat on the edge of the huge mahogany desk, one leg swinging. "Haven't lost your edge with the stick, I see." Grabbing his own crotch obscenely, Turner leered at the young man watching him. "Practice, Alex. As you well know. You're looking a lot better than when I saw you last week. Feeling up to another round so soon?" Gut clenched, every nerve screaming for attention, Krycek ordered his body to remain still. Keeping his voice steady, he smiled. "I'm fine, Derik. It's not like you haven't been rough before." "True, but you've got the staying power of an angel, Alex. Of course, Luther can't say the same." "You didn't have to kill him, Derik. We both know he was harmless." "Harmless? Not hardly. Do you know what that fag tried to do?" Krycek snorted at the term. "Fag? Cute, Derik, considering. Anyway, I'm not here to talk about Luther. He made his choice and lost. I'm here to talk about Mulder. You know I can't let you hurt him." Turner put the cue stick down and picked up the snifter from the table. Drinking deeply, he waited and then spoke carefully. "You planning on trying to stop me, Alex?" "You're going to stop yourself." Confused, Turner stepped closer, his light blue eyes bright with questions. "How's that?" "Aaron loved him. Mulder's all he talked about from the time I was a little boy." "Is that why you became obsessed, too? You and Aaron always discussing him and watching and listening to the tapes. You were as in love with him as Aaron." The accusation sounded close to pain. "And so it's jealousy that forces your hand now? Don't be a fool, Derik. You know the Consortium is not going to let you keep him. Aaron paid for stepping over the line." Tossing the glass to shatter against the wall, Turner stormed and paced across the room. "And I killed the men responsible." "Sure, some of them, but we both know that doesn't end it. They've sent me with a message. Hurt Mulder or Skinner and you're dead, Derik. No more support, no more connections. You know they can do it. You'd never be able to work again outside the network. Oh, you could try for awhile, but without they're support, your organization will crumble." "And you'd help them against me? "In a heartbeat." "You were always such an ungrateful little cocksucker." Smiling a taunt, Krycek spoke in a hush. "Aaron never thought so." Staring at the young man incredulous, Turner put his hands on his hips, his mouth tightly shut. His jaw twitched from the anger. "But you're here because of Mulder." "He's only one reason, Derik. We both know your time is near ending. You've lost sight of the Project. Neither of us will ever be free from that. Sure, we can have our little side projects, but the main objective remains the same. Mulder has to survive." "So I've heard too many times." Shaking his head, rubbing his whiskered jaw, Turner spoke, his words distant and distracted. "I've never understood that." "You don't have to understand. Resist or serve, Derik. You know the drill." An explosion of sound and color powered through the room as the bullet tore through Turner's midsection. Looking up, as if seeing the young man for the first time, Turner's face paled with awareness. Falling to his knees, he struggled with only one word. "Alex." Stepping forward, Krycek placed the barrel of the gun next to the temple of the man he'd called both father and lover. "It ends here, Derik. Your part is over, motherfucker." Pulling the trigger just as the older man gripped his leg, Alex faltered at the recoil. Blood splattered across the world as he stepped back watching as the last of any life faded quickly. The tang of copper mixed with the stench of powder-burned flesh choked and gagged him only momentarily. Standing straight, one less chain to bind him, he waited for the rush of soldiers as they came to meet the new boss. Revenge made for a sweet music in his head, the red and black images of celebration and death prancing like dancers just starting the first steps to a very long, very ancient tune. *************** "What the fuck is this, Alex?" The young Nazi guard entered the room on a the run with Mulder beside him, other soldiers just outside the door. "Come on in, Stephen. Sorry for the mess. Just one of those things that happens." "Jesus, Alex. Why the hell did you kill Derik for christsakes?" The young man lowered his weapon and kneeled beside the dead leader, loss strangling his words. "Shit. Don't get all sentimental, Stephen. Besides, I think Thomas will be happy for one less name on his list of competition." "Like that slut has room to talk. Man, I can't believe you did this. What the hell are we supposed to do now?" Waving the gun toward the shocked Mulder, he asked, "And what about this guy? He and his buddy aren't just tourists, you know. They've seen our faces." "Don't worry, Stephen." His voice soothing, Krycek pointed toward the gun. "Put that away. You won't need it. I just put out the word that there's a slight change in management. I want you to round up the others and let them know that nothing's changed with the project. I'll take charge and make sure everyone's handled and paid well enough. As for Mulder and Skinner, they're my business. There's a FBI Rescue Force on its way here, so we're kind of on a tight schedule." Standing, trying to handle the anxious confusion, the young man faced Krycek. "Okay, but Alex, how are you going to get out of this? I mean, I could give a rat's ass in the long run about Derik, but he has other people who aren't going to like this one bit. They'll come after you." "They'll try, but they'll end up the same as Derik. I'm not single anymore. Spread the word, Stephen. Don't fuck with me, okay?" "Hell, we already knew that, Alex." Nodding, finally calming down from the shock, Stephen turned to leave. "You want me to leave him?" "Sure, now go. Do what I told you. And tell Nathan to get the chopper ready. I'll be out in about five minutes." "You got it." Running out past Mulder, Stephen directed the other armed men who'd collected behind him to follow. Turning to Mulder, Alex tilted his head and smiled at the expression of utter surprise he saw there. "Jesus, Mulder, I don't think I've seen you speechless since you passed out. I'll have to shoot an asshole more often." "Damn, Alex. What the hell happened?" "That's Krycek to you, Mulder." "What? Alex, there's a dead man lying on the carpet, the FBI are on the way, and you're worried about what I'm calling you?" "Well, it's better than Ratboy." "Shit. You were listening. You had no right to do that. Jesus, you're such a prick." Mulder stomped over to stand beside the corpse of his tormentor. He fought down the incredible urge to kick it and grind the already mutilated face into tinier bits of bone and tissue. "Mulder, listen. I don't have much time before Scully and the other's get here." Turning, he focused on the urgency in the tone and the intensity of the stare. "What?" "You're being watched all the time, so be careful. They know about you and Skinner, but don't worry, they won't out you. They think you're nuts to fall for the boss. It works for them to have you crazy." "Crazy? Damn it, Krycek, who are they and what do they want from me?" Stepping closer, he leaned in, still angry. "Tell me. I have a right to know." "It won't help to know, Mulder. Not yet anyway. All I can tell you is don't do the job for them. Don't go crazy and let them off the hook. Track their asses down and win. Skinner can help. So can Scully, but you've got to stop this shit with cutting yourself and wanting to die. It kee= ps you distracted from the real goal." "Which is?" "What it's always been, Mulder. The Project must survive. You Mulder are a big piece of that whole thing. Why the hell do you think they let you get away with all the shit you do? The thing is, the power base is changing. It's a dangerous time right now, so don't screw it up. Let Skinner help you. They think he'll keep you off balance. Stupid pricks. Let them keep thinking that. Meanwhile, do what you have to and stop hurting yourself." "Shit, Krycek. I don't need a fucking pep talk from someone like you." "Then hear this. Scully and Skinner are on the list, too. To save them, you're going to have to save yourself. Is that motivation enough to get your head out of your ass?" "What list? What the fuck are you talking about?" "X knew. So, did the man you called Deep Throat." "Fuck. Everybody knows but me, huh?" "Pretty much. Just keep at it, Mulder. It's in your head, but only you can get there." Grabbing up his gun again, Krycek moved from the desk. "The keys to Skinner's room are on the desk. I've got to go." As he headed for the door, Mulder called out from behind him. "Krycek, tell me. Please." Shaking his head, Krycek smiled as he yelled back. "Greedy, Mulder. Too fucking greedy. You'll know when you're ready. Now, go find Skinner." Snatching up the key, Mulder for once in life did what he was told. *************** 4 PM Sunday, Mulder's apartment "That is so not true, Walter." Mulder sat on the couch, his legs tucked under him while he chowed down on the messy end of a pepperoni pizza, cheese strings dropping onto his chin. "It is true. You just don't want to admit that you still need help." Walter leaned back, wiping his mouth and rubbing his full stomach. Picking up the cold beer on the coffee table, he finished off the rest of his drink before standing to go get another one. "But I'm fine now. Turner's dead, my kidneys are up and running. Hell, I haven't even had a nightmare since I got back. Hell, when I get this cast off, I'll be good as new." Shaking his head, Walter slammed the door shut on the refrigerator. "Mulder, it's only been four days. It's taken us that long to fill out all the paper work and get you signed out of the hospital." Frowning, Mulder licked his greasy fingers. "Yeah, and I'd still be there if it weren't for Scully. You were no help at all on that one, I'm sorry to say." "I was a little busy, Mulder." Walter stood by the table, arms crossed watching contentedly while the man he loved finally ate with some kind of passion. The animation and energy made for quite a change. "Yeah, I know. So, what's the verdict at the top echelon at the Bureau? They think it was some kind of Russian conspiracy or what?" "It's still under investigation. The only thing for sure is that Derik Turner won't be running any assassination plots." "Thank god." Mulder reached for the last piece of pizza and stopped as heard Walter laugh. "What?" "You. I love watching you eat. It's a nice picture." "Yeah? Well, come on over and sit down. Get a close up while you're taking pot shots." Stepping over, Walter settled down beside the younger man, scooting in, thighs touching. "You're right. This is better." Snuggling up just a little, Mulder swallowed another bite before he started talking again. "Now, back to the original part of this discussion. I don't know why I can't go back to work yet." "Well, if nothing else, you're still on medical leave. Come on, Mulder. You were kidnapped for the second time in less than a month. No boss in his right mind would let an agent come back without more counseling. Plus, you still haven't told me about that last session you had with Harris, the one that set you off." "Oh, that." Mulder's cheerful visage disappeared as he leaned forward and put the last bit of crust back on the box. "Yeah, that, Mulder. What sent you off to the bar that day?" His voice more gentle, he whispered. "Can you talk about it yet?" Walter let him lean his back up against his chest. Wrapping his arms around him, he held the younger man in a cradle of support. After a few more moments of quiet, Mulder reached up and stroked the forearm around his neck. "I was just talking and it came out without me really meaning for it, too. I'd never really said it out loud before, you know. Saying to someone else like that made it real again. It just hurt too much to say it." "Say what, Mulder?" Walter rested his chin on the top of his dark hair, his warm breath brushing against the top strands. "My father used to do things he had no right to do." "Shit." Shaking his head not in denial, but in amazement, Walter felt the terrible stinging that forced him to close his eyes as he listened. "Yeah, that's my reaction, too. He used to scare me really bad. Late at night or when I got home from school sometimes when Mom was gone again. She was gone a lot right after Samantha left. Anyway, I hadn't really thought about it much until this thing with Turner. A good psychologist would use terms like repression or avoidance, but basically, I just didn't want to think about it because I couldn't change it. I mean, what was the fucking point, right?" "Jesus, Mulder. I'm so sorry." "I don't want your pity, Walter." "It's not pity. I hate that the son of a bitch hurt you." "Me, too. He was my father, but he betrayed that. Anyway, you have a right to know what you're getting into here. The whole picture. It's not pretty, but I'm working on it." Hugging a little tighter, Walter kissed the top of Mulder's head. "So, why don't you want to go back to Harris? You can't do this alone, Mulder. It's too much for anybody." "But I'm not alone now, Walter. I've got you. Plus, I think I've got a handle on it now. For the first time in a long time, I really want to get better." "Mulder, what if I told you, I don't have a handle on it?" Twisting up and out of the older man's arms, Mulder looked into sad brown eyes. "What?" "You heard me. I'm thinking about going to Harris myself, not to know what you tell him, but for myself." "But why?" "Because I want to be there for you, to do the right thing. This is really heavy shit, Mulder. All this, our relationship included. I don't want to say or do the wrong thing. I need some help with this myself and nothing even happened to me. I don't know how you stand it sometimes. I really don't." "But something did happen to you, Walter." Reaching a finger to the older man's mouth, he tenderly rubbed it along the lower lip. "What are you talking about?" His tongue tasted the slight hint of sauce that still laced Mulder's skin. "You fell in love and you've suffered because of it. I've put you through a lot." "Mulder, you haven't put me through anything. All those thugs like the Turners and your father did the damage. You're a survivor here. The thing is, you can't just stop the sessions with Harris, because you've still got a lot of problems because of what they did." "Problems? Well, yeah, we all have problems. But I'm better, even you can see that, Walter." "Yes, I can. But, Mulder, face it. This casual regard you have for whether you live or die scares me. The mood swings that one minute have you wanting to die and the other eating pizza and making out on the couch, that scares me absolutely shitless. The way you can care about someone else's life, but not your own, terrifies me beyond words here." "But you're as bad as I am. Look at what you risked to find me." Mulder gently rubbed the bruise at the side of Walter's head. "And I'm going to see a doctor, either Harris or someone else, because of it. If someone like me can admit that I need help dealing with all this, why can't you?" "More practice in denial?" Mulder smiled until he heard the sigh of frustration and saw Skinner frown. Leaning in, he settled closer, resting his head on a broad chest. "Okay, I understand what you're saying. I'll keep going if that's what you want. Harris isn't so bad. But, Walter, I need to get back to work some time." "You're not ready yet, Mulder." "I know, but soon, okay? Scully can't be expected to carry on the good fight without me indefinitely." "She's doing pretty damn well without either one of us, Mulder." "Yeah, but, she's Scully. She can do anything." The rumbling laugh vibrated up to Mulder's ear. "I'll tell her you said that." "Don't you dare. G-Woman doesn't need a bigger head." "G-Woman?" Mulder stroked the firm thigh near his hand. "That's what I call her. I call myself G-Man." His fingers massaged the stomach just above the belt. Breathing hitched and then increased. A steady heart beat got faster. "And what do you call me, Mulder?" Testing his hand a little lower, closer to the bulge growing to his complete and utter satisfaction, he smiled. "Big G." "Lord, Mulder." Taking a deep breath, he watched as Walter's head fell back in response to his intimate touch. Heat fired up through his own loins, slowly numbing his brain. Thinking slowed and fogged over. His visions shifted to mere flashes of color. Opening his eyes again, he focused on the flushed features of his the man he loved. "You still with me, Big G?" Laughing at Walter's groan, Mulder started to unzip, but found a hand grabbing and holding his own still. "Mulder, are you sure about this?" Taking a deep breath, Mulder smiled and sat up. Very slowly, he cupped the back of Walter's head and drew him closer. "At this moment you're my only truth. I don't want to play games anymore. It's not going to be easy. I have a problem with trust. You know that. Half the time I don't even trust myself. But you, Walter Skinner, you I trust." Brown eyes softened as he edged in. Lips touched lips and opened to an invading tongue. Walter Skinner had no more questions, but moaned into his mouth instead. Swallowing his lover's passion, he soaked in the steamy heat, slicked against the hard edge of teeth, the smooth satin of delicate inner skin. Mulder swam in the force of this first real kiss, and rocked back momentarily. Reaching down, he quickly removed his own sweat pants and boxers. His erect cock glistened with the quick flow of arousal. Walter's hand gripped him and he hissed with the heat. Falling back, his legs spread, flame released the lava flow through both thighs to his groin. All the world vanished, focused instead on the center of the universe, with Walter sucking him to heaven. Every cell had one purpose, every bone melted to free form, and his brain refused to answer. Every muscle tensed tighter to painful pleasure as the lapping and nibbling continued around both cock and balls. His casted arm held down by a stronger hand, he bucked with a rhythm to match the bobbing head between his wide open thighs. His left palm rubbed the whiskered motion of a busy cheek, the jaw muscles relentless with their determined passion. Pressure rose, rolling in waves and circles, spinning to his navel, arching up with the quake of the first spasm, paralyzed in the flash of eruption. A flood of seizing pushed through his ass, squeezing his cheeks as he screamed out with the anguish of release. Red and white blasts seared all vision to settle to yellow and then blackness behind closed lids. Breathing no longer mattered. Some time later, when air found his lungs again, Mulder lay back dreamy, satisfied more than he thought he ever could be. Walter Skinner lay behind him, holding him tight around the middle, still nibbling at his neck. "Jesus, Walter, you're bound and determined to make me crazy here." "On the contrary. I'm the one who's lost his mind. I can't believe you make me so nuts." "Yeah? Think there's a cure?" Smiling as he growled into Mulder's ear. "Nope. Just a long line of treatments." "Treatments?" "One strong Mulder dose after another." "Oh, man." "You got it." "I certainly do, Walter." Latching onto the arms that surrounded him, Mulder floated in the comfort of contact. Suffering and misery still lurked deep inside him, but stayed put, pouting in the darkness. Lying there wrapped in the arms of his lover, he realized the true meaning of hope. It hungered to live, to grow inside him and through him, linked forever with the life force of the very man who held him, the man who loved him despite his flaws. Nuzzling his head harder into the broad chest, he whispered. "Hold me, Walter." Kissing Mulder's cheek, he spoke in a hush. "Always, Mulder. Now, close your eyes. I've got you." "For how long?" "As long as it takes." "Forever?" Stroking Walter's hand, Mulder closed his eyes, dreams waiting at the edge of sleep. "Sounds about right." Holding on with gentle strength, Walter Skinner embraced the man who held his future, bracing himself for the fight of his life. Failure was not an option.